Imām Al-Bukhārī narrates from Sayyidunā Jābir ibn ʿAbdillāh (may Allāh be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) delivered a sermon during the Farewell Hajj, and among what he said was:
اتقوا الله في النساء فإنكم أخذتموهن بأمانة الله، واستحللتم فروجهن بكلمة الله.
“Fear Allāh regarding women, for you have taken them by the trust (amānah) of Allāh, and you have made their private parts lawful to you by the word of Allāh.”
Sahih al-Bukhari
Allāh entrusted you with her. By Allāh, were it not that Islam taught the guardian (walī) of the wife to say to you, “I marry my daughter to you upon the Book of Allāh,” and taught you to say to him, “I accept her marriage upon the Book of Allāh,” would you have even seen her fingernail? Absolutely not. But by the word of Allāh and by the trust of Allāh, you took her. You find the father of the girl, when the bride is being escorted [to her husband], with a tear in his eye and his heart trembling, while you have a smile on your lips. When you are about to walk away, the wife’s father says: “She is a trust (amānah) in your neck.” He is afraid for this weak wing. So by Allāh, do we preserve this Trust, or do we squander it?
How do we squander this Trust? The man took her upon the Book of Allāh and the Sunnah of our Master, the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him), yet he begins with the first issue: he wants his wife to sit with his brothers at one table! The father of the girl says: “We made a condition with you: no free mixing (ikhtilāṭ).” And he replies: “Are my brothers traitors?” The answer: No. If they were traitors, we would not have married you [into our family]. But even if your sons are trustworthy, does that mean it is permissible for them to sit with women? Who is more God-fearing than the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him)? No one. Yet, the Prophet (peace be upon him) would not sit with women. And the Exalted said:
{وإذا سألتموهن متاعاً فاسألوهن من وراء حجاب}
And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition.
Surah Al-Ahzāb 33:53
And he said:
أخذتموهن بأمانة الله.
“You have taken them by the trust of Allāh.”
Sahih al-Bukhari
Yet, at every trivial and significant matter, [he swears]: “Harām be upon me!”, “Divorce be upon me!” Are you preserving this Trust? Where is your religion and your character? Where do you stand in your preservation of this Trust? By Allāh, besides Whom there is no god, if one of us treated his wife as he wishes his daughter or sister to be treated, we would be happy. But as our Master (Mighty and Majestic is He) said:
ويل للمطففين
الذين إذا اكتالوا على الناس يستوفون
وإذا كالوهم أو وزنوهم يخسرونWoe to those who give less [than due]
Surah Al-Mutaffifīn 83:1-3
Who, when they take a measure from people, take in full.
But if they give by measure or by weight to them, they cause loss.
We, O brothers, have squandered this Trust. Women have been oppressed with a great oppression. Conversely, there is certainly oppression from women—this is indisputable—but who is being addressed primarily, O brothers? The small or the great? The strong or the weak? Undoubtedly, the one addressed is the strong one, the possessor of authority (ʿismah), the man regarding whom our Master (Mighty and Majestic is He) said:
{الرجال قوامون على النساء}
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women.
Surah An-Nisāʾ 4:34
So do we preserve this Trust? Measure all other trusts against this. For the Prophet (peace be upon him) described the servant as having hypocrisy if he does not preserve the Trust. And the Exalted said:
{وعاشروهن بالمعروف فإن كرهتموهن فعسى أن تكرهوا شيئاً ويجعل الله فيه خيراً كثيراً}
And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them—perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good.
Surah An-Nisāʾ 4:19
Therefore, the covenant we take upon ourselves on this day is The Trust: That we covenant with Allāh the Exalted to be trustworthy people. To preserve our religion and not be negligent regarding it. To preserve people’s wealth and not transgress any of Allāh’s limits. To be preservers of the trust of people that is in our care—namely, their honor (aʿrād)—so we protect it. That is why we used to often say to the groom during the marriage contract: “O brother, your uncle (father-in-law) has given you the most precious thing he has; do not make her the cheapest thing you have.” Regrettably, we find that the cheapest thing for many men is the woman. Some of them utter common, vulgar words, like the one who says—and we seek refuge in Allāh the Exalted—”The price of a woman is like the price of a shoe; we take one off and put another on until one fits the size of our feet!” Is this a Muslim human being?
فوربك لنسألنهم أجمعين
عما كانوا يعملونSo by your Lord, We will surely question them all
Surah Al-Hijr 15:92-93
About what they used to do.
Remember, O man, the saying of Allāh (Mighty and Majestic is He):
{ولا تحسبن الله غافلاً عما يعمل الظالمون إنما يؤخرهم ليوم تشخص فيه الأبصار}
{And never think that Allāh is unaware of what the wrongdoers do. He only delays them for a Day when eyes will stare [in horror].
Surah Ibrāhīm 14:42
Your wife is a Trust with you, so what do you do with this Trust? Some say: “I feed her, give her drink, bring her clothes, and have secured a house for her!” O brother, if preserving the Trust were merely her food, drink, clothing, and housing, her father would not have married her to you. Rather, the Trust with you is that you preserve her religion with which she left her family’s house; that you complete this religion for her and not cause her religion to be lost. Included in this is: that you monitor her Hijab, that you prevent her from free mixing, that you monitor her words and deeds, and that you perfect her religion for her. If you do that, then you are the one who has preserved this Trust. But if you begin to cause her religion to be lost—and we seek refuge in Allāh—
فوربك لنسألنهم أجمعين
عما كانوا يعملونSo by your Lord, We will surely question them all
Surah Al-Hijr 15:92-93
About what they used to do.
O Allāh, make us among the people of Trust, and do not make us among the people of Treachery, by Your Mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful. And praise be to Allāh, Lord of the Worlds.
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Shaykh Ahmad Sharīf al-Na’san